I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
