I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
