he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
