sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
that may or may not have been my penis.
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