No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I had to cum in my sink.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
