...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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