Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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