There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
