Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Randomize
