I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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