Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
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