I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize