Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
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Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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