oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
