this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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