we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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