Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
