she looked like the before picture.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
