I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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