You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
