apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
A+ Viking dick
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
