Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
