I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
