so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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