I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
PANTIES FOUND
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
