Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
