Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize