If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You can't special order awesome
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Just puked most of my soul out..
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
