Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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