Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
this beer tastes like vomit already
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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