maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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