but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
