operation harelip BJ is a go
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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