It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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