no, he came in my armpit
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
