You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
