so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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