Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
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