Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
