I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
