I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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