you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
