Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
