We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
