someone get that fucking seahorse.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
