how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
