if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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