imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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