the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My pussy is not your playground.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
