you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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