She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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