good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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