Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
he puts the penis in happiness.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
