The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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