i jhust puked up my retainher.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
