You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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