The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
