But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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