Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
