brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
