thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
