I faked an abortion last night.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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