my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
